My Personal Disclaimer – Please Read First

This is 100% my own experience, shared anonymously because I want other women in similar pain to know they're not the only one. I am not a medical professional. This is not advice or a recommendation. In Pakistan, abortion is legally restricted to life-saving situations or necessary early treatment. Self-managing carries real health dangers (incomplete abortion, infection, heavy bleeding) and legal grey areas. Before doing anything, get an ultrasound from a private lab to rule out ectopic pregnancy, consult a gynecologist if possible, and know your nearest hospital. If bleeding soaks >2 pads/hour for >2 hours, fever >38°C lasts >24 hours, severe pain won't stop, or discharge smells bad – go to emergency immediately. Post-abortion care is available without judgment in Lahore hospitals. This story is for emotional support and awareness only.

My Life Context in Early 2026

I'm 27, from a middle-class family in Johar Town, Lahore. Working in a small marketing firm, living in a 1-bedroom rented flat with my younger sister (who studies). No husband – I was in a serious relationship that ended badly when I found out I was pregnant. The guy disappeared after I told him. My family is conservative; telling them would have destroyed everything – my job, my independence, my sister's future dreams. I felt trapped. Cried for days. Then one night, scrolling late, I found stories of women who handled it privately with pills. It gave me a tiny spark of control.

I decided to go ahead alone. It felt terrifying but also like reclaiming power over my body.

Preparation – The Weeks Before

First, I bought pregnancy tests from a nearby pharmacy – three different brands, all positive. Estimated 7–8 weeks from my last period. I saved money quietly, skipped eating out, to afford private checks. Went to a small ultrasound clinic in Model Town on a weekday afternoon – paid cash, used a fake name on the slip. The report showed normal intrauterine pregnancy at 7 weeks 4 days. Huge relief – no ectopic.

Bought supplies over 2 weeks:



Maxi pads (heavy flow)

Ibuprofen 400 mg & 800 mg packs

Paracetamol backup

Heating pad (small electric one from Daraz)

Electrolyte packets

Light snacks (biscuits, bananas)

Thermometer

Extra bedsheets and towels



I also read every WHO self-management guideline page I could find (translated parts using phone). Watched anonymous YouTube videos (muted sound). Knew the risks: heavy bleeding, infection, incomplete expulsion needing medical help.

Sourcing the Pills – How It Happened

I avoided random Facebook groups – too risky for fakes. Searched "misoprostol mifepristone discreet Pakistan" and found an international source recommended in women's health threads (donation-based, privacy-focused). Ordered the combo kit. It arrived in 7 days – small padded envelope inside another plain box, delivered to my flat's guard. No questions asked. Inside: 1 mifepristone 200 mg, 12 misoprostol 200 mcg (extra for safety), English instructions, and a small note saying "You are not alone."

I also bought 10 misoprostol tablets (Breeky brand) from a local chemist in Johar Town – said it was for "stomach issue" of a friend. Cost me PKR 800.

The Day – My Solo Journey

I took Friday off work, told my boss I had fever. Sister went to university. Flat was quiet.

9:00 AM – Mifepristone

Swallowed the single pill with water. Sat on the bed, heart racing. Nothing for 4 hours. Watched Netflix to distract. Light brown spotting started around 2 PM – like old blood. Mild cramps. Ate light lunch.

Next Morning (24 hours later) – Misoprostol

10:00 AM. Took 800 mg ibuprofen first. Placed 4 misoprostol pills vaginally (felt cleaner and more effective per guidelines). Lay down with pillow under hips for 30 min. Cramps began slowly – like period pain. By 11:30, stronger waves. Put heating pad on low. Bleeding started – first light, then heavier.

By 12:30 PM, pain became intense. Waves every 5–10 minutes. I walked around the flat, breathed deep, cried a little. Passed first big clot around 1 PM – scary but expected. Changed pad – already soaked. Diarrhea came (normal). Nausea – sipped ginger tea.

Peak: 2–5 PM. Pain 9/10 at times. I lay curled, heating pad on, whispering to myself "It's temporary, it's ending." Passed several clots and tissue – that's when tears came, but also relief. Called my best friend (she knew vaguely) – she talked me through on speaker for 30 min.

By 7 PM, cramps dropped to moderate. Bleeding still heavy but slowing. Ate soup, took more ibuprofen. Slept fitfully.

The Days After

Day 3–5: Bleeding like medium period, clots smaller. Tiredness extreme – slept 12 hours some days. Ate dates, spinach, eggs for iron. No fever, no bad smell – good sign.

Day 7: Light spotting only. Felt human again.

Day 14: Pregnancy test – negative. Went for follow-up ultrasound (same clinic) – uterus empty, no complications.

Emotionally: First week was dark – guilt, loneliness, questioning everything. But by week 3, relief dominated. I felt lighter, more in control of my life. Started therapy online (anonymous app) to process.

What Made It Bearable



Preparation saved me panic.

Knowing warning signs kept me calm.

Having one trusted person to call helped emotionally.

Reminding myself: "This is my body, my choice in impossible circumstances."



To Anyone Reading This

If you're here because you're scared and alone – I see you. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I survived and came out stronger. Please don't do it completely alone if you can avoid it – even one check-up or support call changes everything. You're worthy of safety and care. Reach out to helplines if needed. You will get through this.